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why are people so thoughtless

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why are people so thoughtless

Post  jeanette on Tue Mar 01, 2011 10:59 pm

When people request and are given a handreading why do they not give a feedback, response and at least a word of thanks. I corresponded with a request recently and got one feedback and thanks, another few questions were asked which I answered and never heard another word from the requester. I am glad I have become involved in a fingerprint discussion which is involving my time and from which I will, hopefully, gain some very valuable knowledge. I was looking tonight at a hand which had been posted asking for a reading, but I thought I could spend time on this and never be acknowledged.
Jeanette.
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Why are people so thoughtless

Post  Roberta on Wed Mar 02, 2011 5:08 pm

Dear Jeanette,

Your question feels very sincere. Of course, a thank you is never amiss, but perhaps a different mindset might help. Whenever we give anything it could be with no expectation of appreciation in return. Simply giving because we want to and releasing the outcome. The recipient may do with the information whatever they choose, and we are freed from the disappointment of our expectations of how they "should" respond. And we end up with a lighter heart.

Love and warm wishes, sunny
Roberta

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Re: why are people so thoughtless

Post  Lynn on Thu Mar 03, 2011 12:37 am

Hi Jeanette,
I understand how frustrating and disappointing it can be to give time doing a reading and then not even be acknowledged for it. Or to give some info then just be asked more, more, more questions!

Feedback is very important for readers to know what works and what doesn't, we learn from feedback. I hope that people here who get readings will acknowledge and respond to them (I think on the whole they do). But there are many reasons why people might not give feedback. for example - Maybe it wasn't the answer they were hoping for, maybe it was spot-on but they don't wish to publicly say so, maybe they are waiting to see if anyone else adds a response before they give feedback, maybe they are too busy / stressed - after all many people who request readings are at a difficult stage in their lives. Then there are always the few who are just selfish 'takers', and the more you give, the more they'll take!!. Numerous possible reasons, those are just a few.

Even if it is not publicly said, the person who asked the question will surely be grateful that you spent time looking at their hands. We (the moderators, I'm sure I can speak for Martijn here too) are grateful when members reply to other members' reading requests on the forum. But there is no obligation to do this! Anyway, please know that you ARE appreciated!

Roberta makes a very good point. I had to learn this lesson many years ago when spending a lot of time doing things for others then feeling hurt, resentful, disappointed etc at not being thanked or at it not being reciprocated. One day it hit me - WHY am I doing this? Is it a need to be needed, is it because I seek appreciation / recognition, is it because I want people to like me?? Actually it was a hard lesson to learn at a palmistry seminar about the heartline, when I discovered that actually I was not the altruistic person that I thought I was! ;-)

Going back to Roberta's words - if we are able to give without any expectation of anything in return, simply give because we want to, it brings greater peace of mind. But if we don't want to give - we don't have to. It is OK to say NO! If you feel like using your time to expand your knowledge studying fingerprints rather than doing a free reading, that's fine, nothing to feel guilty about! But if you feel like responding to a reading request, in the knowledge that you might not get any response, that's fine too. Feel free to choose which discussions to spend time on

I am so glad you found this forum Jeanette, I really appreciate all your input, whether it is readings or asking questions, you are a great forum member! Thumbs up!

___________________________________________
Lynn
www.handanalysis.co.uk
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Re: why are people so thoughtless

Post  Patti on Thu Mar 03, 2011 8:51 am

Roberta wrote:Dear Jeanette,

Your question feels very sincere. Of course, a thank you is never amiss, but perhaps a different mindset might help. Whenever we give anything it could be with no expectation of appreciation in return. Simply giving because we want to and releasing the outcome. The recipient may do with the information whatever they choose, and we are freed from the disappointment of our expectations of how they "should" respond. And we end up with a lighter heart.

Love and warm wishes, sunny
Roberta

Wonderful words to remember.

sunny
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Re: why are people so thoughtless

Post  Patti on Thu Mar 03, 2011 9:04 am

Jeanette,
What Lynn and Roberta have shared is excellent.

There is something I have discovered over the years and especially have noticed recently since becoming active again on the forums last summer. There's the 'get by giving' philosophy. You don't have to 'get' from the same source that you 'give'.

Usually something special happens in your life very shortly there after (and you don't even have to send an email to 10 more people Very Happy )

So I try to remember to turn the perspective around and instead give thanks that I have an opportunity to open and widen the flow of blessings into my life.

Which means I better head back over to my own space and take care of some opportunities. I love you
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Re: why are people so thoughtless

Post  jeanette on Thu Mar 03, 2011 11:10 am

Thanks for your replies. I felt the feedback was important. Just to know what I was getting right or wrong. However, as has been pointed out maybe people would be reluctant to admit this. Never thought of this. Thanks very much and appreciate all the kind words and encouragement.
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Re: why are people so thoughtless

Post  sv-b on Thu Mar 03, 2011 1:15 pm

Hello jenette.! and all of my friends....

I'm considerably busy nowadays.... LOL...

I did not read all the content of this disscussion...... But, Understood your question....

I think, Many of the peoples like to listen predictive type of palmistry. They give least important to reading their dispositions or their current mental state of mind.. It is well applicable to asians.. Yes, Ofcourse, Who dont want to know their future?!

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Re: why are people so thoughtless

Post  jeanette on Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:07 pm

Hi Stalin,
I think what you say is very, very true. I think it is not well known exactly what palmistry is and it is the predictive which is looked for. It is a while since we have heard from you. You must be very busy indeed. Thanks for your reply.
Jeanette.
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Why are people so thoughtless?

Post  Roberta on Thu Mar 03, 2011 6:11 pm

I learn so much from these exchanges and am tremendously grateful.

Lynn- I like what you said about examining ourselves and our motives. We are not always as clear and loving as we would like to believe. (Speaking for myself!)
And I frequently tell friends that "NO!" is a complete sentence.

Patti- Thank you! I love your comment about not having to send emails to 10 people. rolling on the floor

Jeanette- Keep hanging in there and enjoy the adventure. It's all a dream anyway.

Best,
Roberta


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Re: why are people so thoughtless

Post  jeanette on Thu Mar 03, 2011 7:38 pm

Hi Roberta,
Thanks for the reply. Like you I like you I enjoy the exchanges so much too and never seem to stop learning something new.
Jeanette.
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Re: why are people so thoughtless

Post  waqar.an on Mon Jul 04, 2011 12:17 pm

jeanette wrote:When people request and are given a handreading why do they not give a feedback, response and at least a word of thanks.

Dear Martijn;

I think "Thanks" or "Like" button can deal with it. I myself feel empty handed if not been appreciated...Very Happy

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Re: why are people so thoughtless

Post  jeanette on Fri Jul 08, 2011 7:28 pm

Thanks Wagar,
Well worded.
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why are people so thought less

Post  rajan pande on Sat Jul 09, 2011 1:12 pm

Every humanbeing needs appreciation for Good work or for the efforts and time he or she has exerted.. However few persons are of the nature.. anyway i think Jeanette is more interested to receive FEED BACK rather than simple thanks !
However thanks Jeanette to put this thought.. which is most needed in the time of present era of hatred and selfishness.. Thanks!! Rajan

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Re: why are people so thoughtless

Post  jeanette on Sat Jul 09, 2011 1:26 pm

Thanks Rajan
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Re: why are people so thoughtless

Post  Felicity Martin on Sun Jul 10, 2011 2:22 am

Hi Jeanette and everyone,

Perhaps we could ask when doing a reading for some feedback- I don't expect people to necessarily say thanks because the reason I do them always has the underlying desire to learn more about the relationship between hand and brain we find so interesting. And, we, as responsible palmists or hand analysts, are open to having our responses objectively responded to.

We learn so much here, in particular from Martijn and the many outstanding committed members, I learn from each and every one of you, so here's my big thank you for all that this site brings to us.

Felicity
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Re: why are people so thoughtless

Post  zeblethai on Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:41 pm

.Dear Martijn;

I think "Thanks" or "Like" button can deal with it. I myself feel empty handed if not been appreciated..

I have to agree with waqar's comment, the emoticons don't convey the causal appreciation of the 'like' button.

Regarding the topic... when you project expectations onto someone or a situation you can often return empty handed. We are often taught these projections from our childhood ie good manners, bad manners. People have different expectations and upbringings. When I learnt to accept this I became happier with myself and with others. It's a hard thing to do, as with breaking any habit.

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