BACHELOR V/S MARRIED

Are you married or Happy?
Every man should get married some time;
after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!

--Anonymous

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed.
It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

--Oscar Wilde


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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

--Scottish Proverb


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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

--Sam Kinison

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Men have a better time than women; for one thing,
they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

--H. L. Mencken

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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife.

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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding
her way back to home always.

--Anonymous

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
anniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her,
"How about the kitchen?"

--Anonymous

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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.

--Anonymous

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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then
the mud fell off.

--Anonymous

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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too
late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."

--Anonymous

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Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses
to get to married.
He says "the wedding rings look like minature
handcuffs....."

--Anonymous
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u
let him in!

--Anonymous

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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and
started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another
man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound
intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have
to die?"

The first man approached him and said,"Sir, I don't wish to interfere
with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain in is
more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A
child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then
replied "My wife's first husband."

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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish
and threw in a coin. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned
over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned
for a while but then smiled "It really works ! "?


Responses to the above in another forum:

Love is blind...... Yes, a real eye opener.


why in the world did god create marriages... man.. somebody rescue me.
I am done for life


pity that the reality is so far from funny
the sad reality in most marriages nowdays that in keeping with the throw away society we have become it is also too easy to throw away the marriage
Sad


The old saying is there 'MARRIAGES are made in heaven,will you believe in this or not.

Thanks for the laugh,

here's one similar,

A couple drinking wine together. Husband says; "I love you."
Wife asks "Is that you or the wine talking?"
Hubby replies "It's me.. talking to the wine."